Apple Assassin
"Apple Assassin" 'is the 125th episode in the ''Skyrim for Pimps series and the 36th episode of Season 6. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the missions "The Merchant of Silver" and "The Merchants of Gold" of the Dark Brotherhood Resurrection Questline (Mod DLC). Plot Fün heads off to Markarth to kill the Silver-Bloods, who stabby thinks were involved in attacking the Dark Brotherhood and putting them on a hit list. Interestingly enough, the target is the Jarl of the Reach. Fün and her follower, Averna, enter the Understone Keep and goes right up to the throne where the Jarl is sitting. Since Stabby has recommended profusely to assassinate the Silver-Bloods with a poisoned apple, in the last episode, she tries dropping the apple on the throne. However, the apple rolls right off his chair. '''"I thought your chair was real but I was wrong." Not getting the results she wanted, the voice in Fün's head recommends placing an apple on the dining table and waiting until breakfast time to see off the Jarl. With Averna along, both her and Fün can sneak invisibly. Unfortunately, this does not help her but rather hiders her work since she keeps knocking the apple into the invisible Averna. With some difficulty, she places the apple onto the table but the Jarl gets up and walks over to the other side of the table to sit down. After waiting until the Jarl sleeps but not being able to assassinate him because a guard follows him to bed, Fün decides she not going to be sneaky about it and destroys him. Just like her other targets, a dragon priest appears from his corpse. "You know how some people just like assassinate really great. With other people, they're just like total bitches when you're trying to assassinate them" After witnessing a chicken priest arise from a dead guard, Fün goes over to Whiterun to assassinate her next target, Anoriath. Anoriath is the co-owner of the tavern called the Drunken Huntsman. While Fün faces some difficulty killing the tavern owner quietly, she manages to kill him in broad daylight and pays off the guard. The guard even compliments him and calls her a "smart woman." Since Fün is back in Whiterun, she decides she should head back to her home, Breezehome, to pick up a blood chocolate for Serana, who has been requesting them. However, when she gets there, Lydia is lying dead on the bed covered in a pile of sweetrolls. It seems Lydia has over-consumed sweetrolls to death. Thinking it would be best to get Lydia out of the house, Fün drags the heavy housecarl out to the back of the house. Fün places her in the pile of garbage, which included Crotch Guzzler's pancake ingredient, the Aretino Spaghetti Plate. After giving a quick eulogy, which was more like a warning to the people nearby to not overdose on sweetrolls, she and Averna heads back to the Dark Brotherhood headquarters in Dawnstar and listens to Nazir's usual spiel. Stabby tells Fün that the Drunkard from the last episode was right to accuse the Gold-Loves, who own the East Empire Company. Stabby asks Fün to assassinate three Gold-Loves, Ulfric, Susan, and Alicia. So Fün heads over to the East Empire Company Warehouse to kill Ulfric Gold-Love. She kills Ulfric in plain sight and she pays off the five gold to get out of trouble. Now back in Solitude after being searched for stolen goods, she visits the Winking Skeever, where her next target is getting wasted. Susan Gold-Love rudely comments on her outfit and gets a dagger to her face. As usual, a guard demands Fün to stop and Fün pays off the guard and is let go. "Just one more Gold-Love to go. I wonder how much this one is going to cost." Quotes * When Nazeem asks, "Do you get to the Cloud Distict very often?" Fün innocently answers, "No, no, not very often, no. I'll look you up next time I'm there." * Fün's inner voice says, "Don't talk about murder in front of people," after Averna brazenly talks about Fün devotion to assassination in front of her next victim. Video See also * Season 6 * Fün Tits Category:Season 6 Category:Episodes